When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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