I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize