i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
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Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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