she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
