do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
