Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize