I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize