I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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