i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.