He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is Oprah even human
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable