dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested