Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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