The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
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After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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