Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
