you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
