Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

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  (609): I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife. http://tfl.nu/63v4
  Replies (6) Good night (484) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

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  (206): Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability. http://tfl.nu/ef1b
  Replies (15) Good night (1774) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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  (509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber... http://tfl.nu/856a
  Replies (63) Good night (684) Bad night (4014) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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  (479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq
  Replies (20) Good night (1285) Bad night (4234) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.

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  (513): And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool. http://tfl.nu/hylh
  Replies (4) Good night (3796) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school

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  (217): I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school http://tfl.nu/0e3h
  Replies (10) Good night (4290) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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  (949): I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping? http://tfl.nu/8mwq
  Replies (7) Good night (3274) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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  (931): I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers http://tfl.nu/gzzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2559) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying

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  (304): Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying http://tfl.nu/2vcq
  Replies (12) Good night (3006) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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  (847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53
  Replies (7) Good night (1929) Bad night (1138)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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  (678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6
  Replies (8) Good night (362) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1630) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night

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  (970): The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/z7c2
  Replies (1) Good night (1800) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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  (847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d
  Replies (14) Good night (1638) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

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  (706): Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit? http://tfl.nu/7qwr
  Replies (6) Good night (985) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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