it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world