So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store