We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize