I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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