They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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