She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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