arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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