I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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