id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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