If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.