i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That accounts for only three of the penises
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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