Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
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I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.