Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc

Replies (36) Good night (2925) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that. http://tfl.nu/9raa

Replies (12) Good night (5421) Bad night (617)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam

Replies (40) Good night (16421) Bad night (2035) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave. http://tfl.nu/avq0

Replies (18) Good night (1086) Bad night (4308) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w

Replies (20) Good night (5311) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now. http://tfl.nu/p8mk

Replies (6) Good night (3149) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq

Replies (11) Good night (3265) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(831): View more from California

please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom http://tfl.nu/23l0

Replies (10) Good night (4990) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y

Replies (7) Good night (1934) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories" http://tfl.nu/n295

Replies (4) Good night (1574) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4

Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(571): View more from Virginia

My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk

Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois

Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/0900

Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f

Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: