Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
