in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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