i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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