I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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