Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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