it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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