he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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