And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize