Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
