Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.