Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
