...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
