i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize