I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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