I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize