Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
