there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach