Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.