Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.