A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand