wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dicks are not precious.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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