): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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