Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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