Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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