It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize