I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize