I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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