Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
