so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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