awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
